Thursday, January 26, 2012

My Personal Testimony

All my life revolves to one thing: to give satisfaction and pleasure to my parents. Yes, I always wanted to obey them, to give them honor and make them proud. I know my purpose and it is to finish studies with good grades, have a good work, and to serve them in return. And I believe this doesn’t come into a disappointment for them. I’m not a hard-headed child, I followed their ambition for me, because I love and owe them so much.  I am also in love with world, all the fun, its desires and pleasures. That’s how my vision and purpose in life is all about before until…

During my vacation in first year highschool somebody invited us in a church at Lawang Pare, the old “Word of Hope”. I attended their Vacation Bible School, I enjoyed the activities there and I graduated with honor on my class. Since then I started joining their youth jam during Sundays. I participated in the tambourine ministry, dance ministry, and I even participated at a conquest (I don’t know that term before). 

How active I was! And then from youth jam I started to go to the church ministry. Up to that extent I find the preaching very long and sort of boring. This is actually one of the reasons I li-lo at the church. I do not enjoy the 2-hour service, because I was a Catholic, and I am at ease with a 1-hour service and just a few minutes of homily. Another factor that scared me is the ‘baptism’. I am not prepared for that. Why should I do that?  My active life at Word of Hope lasted only for 6 months, and I was 12 years old that time. So young and innocent to understand what all those things mean, and too young to stand firm on my beliefs provided that I am the only one going to that church in our family.

And then I came back to being a Catholic, and since I am confused on what should I believe in, I do not do the sign of the cross on praying anymore and I only go to church once in a blue moon, maybe five times in a year, or lesser. My life was like that for almost 7 years. I know God, I know him, we all have the same God whatever our religion is and that’s what I just believed in.

But my long time bestfriend Jeanne (we are, though it’s not obvious) invited me couple of times to attend in their church’s service. And couple of times I said ‘yes’, and couple of times I failed and disappoint her. I had lots of excuses to make just not to get there. Why? Because I had this fear. Fear that I may be coming back to the religion where I already joined in my past. But she never gave up.
One time I received a Facebook message from her inviting me to a “Pre-Encounter Party”. She said that it has a food so I don’t need to worry and it’s a party. Oh! How I loved parties. This word ‘party’ what really enticed me to join the event. But the word ‘pre-encounter’, I forgot what it’s all about, all I knew I will be joining a ‘party’ and I will meet lots of youth there.

Maybe this is also the calling for me, because during that time, I was in fourth year college, I know how hard that part of my life was and I know that I can’t survive it alone and I should hold on to the one with the supreme power, I know that I need God during those days. And things work out together.

At the Pre-encounter party, I was surprise with the praise and worship, so young and wild! With the lights like a party, music that is so lively, 2-fresh and handsome emcees and the party lights. Whoa! This is very cool. And what happened on the Pre-encounter party had a great impact on me that made me decide to join the Encounter.

I am still half-hearted that time because I know that a big part of me will change once I attend to the Encounter. But I something convicts me to go, and a part of me says, “If you won’t join that, it may affect your way to your graduation”. I feared. I just prepared my heart for all the changes that might happen to me. I will encounter God. I do not know how, but I will encounter him.
The encounter with God was really the changing point in my beliefs But honestly I did not change in an instant for 3-days. I just get to know who God is and I received Christ as my Father and Saviour. The battle outside the church is there. But I continued.

What happened to me is timely because I was already matured and not confused when I encountered God. I was also in need of Him. What’s good about Him is that He is the God of new beginnings. The seven years gap from my first year highschool to fourth year college was too long but God did not stop until He have me back to His loving arms again. He was too patient and forgiving. I also thank my best friend for not ceasing in praying until she brings me back to God.
I started to observe the change in me when I attend regularly to the youth service. From once in a blue moon going to the Catholic Church I aim to complete the 52 weeks in a year going to the Bethel Global Outreach’s Church Service. From an attendee to a member. I also learned to do my devotions, to have an active prayer life. I even got the chance to join the dance ministry and yes, I was not afraid anymore to be baptized in the water and the Holy Spirit.

Now, from a back slider, to an active servant of God.

From my purpose of obeying, giving satisfaction and honor to my parents, I am now aiming to obey, give satisfaction, praises and honor our Lord and to fulfill His will for me.

I am now the person full of hopes and dreams, and putting all the faith in God’s hand. I am now living with my life’s verse: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil 3:17)”.
From being fearful, I am now fearless.

From nowhere, I know now where I came from and where I am going. I live to love and I love to live.

From loving all the pleasures and desires of the world, now I know now my life’s real purpose and mission, and it is to devote myself to loving God, to loving people, to the community around me and doing things that gives me purpose and meaning.

My life was totally changed, but I am still in the process of being transformed. From being a baby Christian, now I’m finding ways for me to grow and mature spiritually and to serve Him in full time and effort.

To God be the glory!

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